Wednesday, November 05, 2014

Sixty-Four White People

Happy Voter Sports party! 

Now I get who's helping to destroy what's left of the pittance parks out here - greedy farmers and descendants of land-grabbing settlers hooking up to developers, and not realizing they just went to bed with the hoof-and-mouth disease.

The editor of the Forks Forum - Forks Washington's hometown newspaper is running a campaign to restore Forks' white history, including columns about the "Real Forks." I suspect that one's because, rather than siding with pissed-off loggers who can't get the girls any more, everybody wants Twilight back, and are down to Twi/Squatch tours, and it always pisses off what's left of settlers when Custer gets his reputation held up for everybody to see.

And why? Because the parks "stole" Rialto Beach Mora Olympic National Park from her grandfather and supposedly turned it over to politicians to party in. Why? They're mad because they got paid and not in 2014 dollars? As for partying in the park - what? Like we all can't reserve the park to party in?

I'll bet part of the fight will be based in how much Injun blood they got in 'em. And you know the joke: "What do they call 64 white people?" "One full-blooded Cherokee." No, that's wrong. "One full-blooded Cherokee CHIEF." It's always a chief - when it's not a princess.

And you people with the Ancestor Club - why don't you be honest and just name it the "I Been here Screwing The Natives Longer Than You Club" and not be so embarrassing? 

My people got here in 1632, which means we've been bigger asswipes, longer. Might as well admit it... and not brag about it.

Speaking of loggers not getting the girls any more - dude on the bus, yesterday, talking about why the "selection of females is so small up here" - do you even OWN a mirror? Please don't tell me you think Twilight took your girlfriend away. Like you needed help with that.

(Hopefully this post will finally make our local Canadian-logging-company-owned newspapers make me go away. I never got paid enough, never knew if a story would be paid for, and had to write the most horribly censored schlock. No wonder Hemingway refused to have his newspaper articles published in his lifetime, and kept cats. I feel for you, dude.)